Wise wife or how to be
What is better to remember and what should be a wife. What you need to do at least occasionally or how to maintain a relationship with your loved one.
Prologue: When my husband proposed to me to marry him, I thought he offered me his hand and heart, and as it turned out later, a stove and a mop.
The relationship between a man and a woman is an eternal mystery and somewhere there is a struggle. Struggle for leadership in career and everyday family life.
A large number of marriages break up during the first years of marriage. Who is to blame, men who are polygamous by nature and only look on the side and do not try to understand and pay due attention to their wife?
Or women who, after some time, turn into noisy and obnoxious bitches, thinking about anything but their husband, and criticizing him for everything that is possible? In any case, husbands blame wives and vice versa.
Or is it possible that no one is to blame?
Maybe the problems are due to the fact that often people do not marry for real person, but for the image (representation) of who they would like to see next to them. The image that may have developed in childhood, or maybe in youth, does not matter, but each of us has such an image inside.
We marry some ideal, and in the end, over time, we realize that we got only a pale idea of \u200b\u200bwhat we dreamed of. Or maybe try to change something, for example, somewhere to accept some shortcomings, somewhere to apply acting inclinations and influence the shortcomings and weaknesses of a person, somewhere. With a strong desire, everything is possible, the main thing is to do everything with knowledge of the matter. Slowly and with patience.
It is also important to understand for yourself that there is nothing wrong with experiments and it is better than continuing to do the same thing day after day, remaining with the same, not the best relationship with your soul mate.
If everything is in order in your relationship, then great, if not, then do at least something.
You cannot cover everything in one text, and now the actions of a woman (wife) in relation to her husband, in my opinion, are the opinion of a man.
What any man would like, what a woman and wife should be, or:
1) Take care of your husband as if he were your lover. Imagine, you are at home and now your husband should return from work - only not a husband, but a lover. How would you behave in this case?
Probably dressed in beautiful underwear, a dress. They would cook, not pasta with an egg and sausage or sausage (for 30 thousand Belarusian), but something interesting and even 
exquisite.
In the apartment, in the atmosphere itself, they added a little romance and an atmosphere of intimacy. They would have met with a smile and a playful twinkle in their eyes and would not have bothered a tired friend with questions - did he do this or that, did he buy what you asked for, etc. And they would only talk about pleasant nonsense and about the two of you.
Imagine how surprised your husband would be? How nice would he be? And how could it affect your relationship if you at least sometimes did this?
2) Be able to listen to your husband without interrupting him and try to understand his opinion by imagining yourself in his place. In this case, it will be easier to understand whether he is right or not. You need to be able to be for a man not only his wife, but also true friend, from whom you can ask for advice, get an opinion, etc.
If you do not know how to listen to him and only your opinion will remain important to you, then forget about the sincere and good communication, which is so necessary in .
Healthy psychology of communication and relationships, , - the main thing on which a strong family is formed. Without normal communication, as well as without normal sex, there will be nothing good.
3) Let it be full, but it is so, Be a keeper hearth in Everyday life and . Everyone knows, not everyone uses or forgets over time.
A hot, lustful female in bed is what everyone dreams of and wants to see in her woman, well, or almost every man. Sometimes you can let a friend do things to you that you might not like. In addition, there is a chance that over time you will begin to like it.
4) Be unpredictable for a good husband. Monotony is tiring and boring, and this is one of the most destructive relationships.
This does not mean that you need to be unpredictable in everything - today you like one thing, tomorrow it turns out that you never liked it. Yesterday you really liked the daisies presented by your partner, but today it turned out that you can't stand them.
It is important to be sincere with him and with yourself. At the same time, it is desirable from the very beginning of the relationship, so that later there would be no confusion.
Unpredictability is good when He expects you to do housework again today or want to go for a walk in the evening and sit in a restaurant. And you, instead of doing housework, even if important (nothing bad will happen if you postpone everything for later), offer to take a walk. And not to a restaurant, but to an amusement park or cinema, as in your first days of acquaintance.
Remember - movies, cereal (pasta) and rear seats in a dark room. How long has it been since you last did this? What about with your husband?
Or you can offer him a spontaneous trip with you to some city for one day. Or together relax in nature and have sex. Forget about all domestic problems and worries, relax and spend this day alone with him, in a new place and with new sensations.
Great for decorating family life. To meet her husband as a lover is also from this song. You can think of it, if you wish.
Just do not be too zealous with unpredictability, it is important for us and your predictability. Assume what can be expected of you at all, and stability. Everything should be in moderation.
5) admire your husband, even if he has many shortcomings and is not a completely self-confident person. Remind him more often of his virtues, praise him for all possible good things and accept him as he is with all his shortcomings. Although there are those who can destroy any relationship (you can read about this at the link).
We all have our shortcomings, you just need to learn to accept a person as he is and pay less attention to something, as you did in the first time of your life together. And some of these shortcomings, if well analyzed, even try to translate into advantages.
Or is it so difficult, because there are so many shortcomings, and the cat wept tears. Did you marry a complete nonentity or were you completely blind? This is not an excuse.
In addition, praise can activate in a man the desire to work on himself, especially if you are very dear to him. And from that loser, over time, he may well come closer to the image that you imagined in him during your acquaintance.
Kind words, praise and light, pleasant and without irony banter can give a very good result. And which, believe me, will not keep you waiting long.
Praise for everything that is possible, do not overpraise - if your man is one of those who care about confirming his need and importance, this is what will make him better over time.
Often a woman literally creates a man out of a boy. And sometimes, a kind word and a gentle kiss can make a miracle where any, even the most methods, will be powerless.
Only one here "but", there are men, as well as women, who point-blank do not notice their shortcomings, and take praise for granted and obligatory.
In this case, praise will not help and you will not have to expect any changes for the better from him. Rather, he will simply, as they say, sit on your head.
Whatever he wants to change something in himself, only some kind of kick in the ass will help here, or, which is very likely, you yourself need to change something (). In general, only practice and experiment will help determine what kind of husband you have.
6) And a little more about that, and - no one owes anything to anyone. Build relationships on mutual understanding and trust, so that both of you feel good and comfortable in these relationships. To set some kind of specific, closed limits - this can lead, over time, only to the desire to break them.
If people are smart, then duties and everything that should or should not be, they will determine for themselves, you can only suggest somewhere or redirect a person’s thoughts.
But this does not mean that everything should be according to yours, that He owes you and owes you something. Everything that you do for each other, you do it out of mutual desire, and not in order to tell a person later - " I did this for you, please do the same"or say" you shouldn't go there or do that". Let him decide for himself whether he needs it or not.
Wrong? then tell him, give smart advice. If you were with him in real warm and friendly relations, your opinion will not be empty for him and he will listen, think again. If not, then read the paragraph 2.
7) Stay the way he loves you. Remember yourself, what were you like when you met? The image of you that he loved. Cheerful or not so; loving or not at all, the main thing is that desired for him. Without all of your self-experimentation that you may have been doing to keep him interested in you.
You won’t be able to return something, just remember and get closer to that sincere one.
And with all this, do not forget and be careful with such a feeling as
A little music (so as not to be interrupted, press pause, turn it on after 20 seconds)
It would seem that men are so unique and not similar to each other that for a harmonious relationship with them, an individual approach to each is necessary. But, one way or another, they all dream that the future wife has certain qualities that will satisfy and inspire them. So, how does the ideal wife look in the eyes of men?
1. Beautiful
Of course, every man will always answer the question about a dream woman that she should be, first of all, beautiful. But by beauty they mean far from ideal external data. Beauty in their understanding is rather the ability to emphasize advantages and competently smooth out flaws.
2. Household
There is nothing that any man wants, coming home from work in the evening, to see a clean and tidy house, a magnificent table with homemade goodies and well-mannered and tidy children. Therefore, an ideal wife must be able to create comfort in the house in a businesslike way.
3. Understanding, respectful
What is the difference between men and women? A woman needs to be loved and not necessarily understood. But a man needs to be understood rather than blindly loved. After marriage, a lot of obligations always fall on men, which it is not always possible to cope with. The task of a woman in such situations is to support and understand her husband, and not to nag him and give out smart advice. Moreover, it is important to respect his interests and not encroach on the free time that he wants to spend doing what he loves.
4. Sexy
Yes, in the list of qualities that an ideal wife should have, sexuality is far from last. A woman must necessarily arouse sexual interest in her life partner. Otherwise, over time, they can turn into cohabitation or a neighborhood.
5. Flexible
Men rarely mention this quality when talking about ideal women. But in fact, they dream of the one that knows how to bend. Therefore, one of the most terrible marriages for men is the prospect of being under the heel of his wife. They are terribly afraid of this.
6. Raised
Each representative of the stronger sex, if we talk about adequate men, believes that the ideal wife should be well-mannered and intelligent. No one needs a noisy and grumpy boorish woman, because a woman is a kind of calling card for a man.
7. Passionate
A woman who is passionate about what she loves always creates around herself an aura of happiness, harmony and satisfaction with life. That is why it is so important that every woman finds her calling. It doesn’t matter if it’s work or just a hobby for the soul, the main thing is that the occupation inspires it. Any man will be happy to walk hand in hand with such a woman.
8. Sympathetic
Naturally, if a man decides to connect his life with a woman, then he implies that she should be unobtrusively interested in his successes and affairs in general. By the way, the ideal wife should do this so subtly and competently so that the man does not work out that they are trying to set him on the right path. Sympathy and obsession are radically opposite concepts.
9. Initiative
It is generally accepted that the initiative should always and in everything come from the stronger sex. But it is not so. In family life, there is a certain list of responsibilities that is shared between men and women. If the husband takes care of the well-being of the family, then the responsibility for organizing the leisure of their loved ones falls on the shoulders of the wife. Family traditions, choosing a place of rest, preparing for trips out of town - all this, according to most men, should be done by a woman.
10. Believer
And, of course, faith. This is the quality that the ideal wife also possesses. A man, if they truly believe in him, is capable of unimaginable deeds and the conquest of incredible heights. A woman who knows how to believe and wait always stands out noticeably among her own kind in the eyes of the men around her.
Harmonious relationships develop among people who are completely different in temperament, but most men agree on what an “ideal wife” should be. During the survey, they named 10 criteria by which they choose a life partner.
Ideal relationship between people are possible only if both partners are ready not only for romance, but also for working on themselves. Men choose wives not only in appearance, and.
1. A woman should be beautiful
This answer was the most frequent in the survey. Indeed, men appreciate the appearance of the future chosen one, but everyone has their own tastes and preferences. Beauty is a purely individual concept, and it is not difficult to understand this. It is enough to look at couples to understand: not a model can get married, because beauty is not the only criterion by which “selection” for a wife is carried out.
2. A wife must love her husband
Men want to be sure of reciprocal feelings, because no one wants to feel deceived. Girls who dream of getting married should remember this. The interviewed men in most cases are not ready to “buy” a life partner and endure the role of a “purse with legs”.
3. The future wife should be on good terms with her husband's relatives.
Married life involves communication with relatives of both partners. Men note that relations between relatives play an important role in marriage. A wife who is hostile to newly acquired relatives for no apparent reason is not the best match. Nobody needs scandals and quarrels, so a woman is required to maintain at least a neutral relationship so as not to spoil family life.
4. A wife should be able to control emotions
Men are in solidarity that they do not want to associate life with "hysterics and neurasthenics" who can make a scandal out of the blue. Representatives of the stronger sex unanimously say that they will not connect their lives with the “chainsaw”, no matter how beautiful it may be. In marriage, they seek peace and mutual love, and they will not build family relationships with brawlers.
5. A wife must be faithful
It is important for men that their "rear" is faithful and loving. They are afraid not only of betrayal, but also of betrayal. Men are afraid of the possibility of raising someone else's child and returning home to a woman who brings lies to the family.
6. She should have an easy personality
Married life is full of surprises, and it is important for men that their chosen one does not lose her head in critical situations, that she can treat minor troubles with humor. A life partner with a light character, according to men, is able to turn family life into a fairy tale.
7. A woman shouldn't be stupid
Men need a woman's intellect and the ability to maintain an interesting conversation. It is important that a woman does not play smart and does not put herself above her chosen one. A life partner who knows how to make independent decisions and give wise advice without snobbery is highly valued by men.
8. The spouse must develop
After marriage, many women cease to be interested in their self-development, which is detrimental to the individual. Of course, a clean house, a delicious dinner and well-behaved children are important, but if a woman at the same time “gets stupid” day by day, “burrowing” into life with her head, men will not appreciate it.
9. A wife should know how to cook
A delicious dinner, consisting not only of purchased semi-finished products, will be appreciated by any man. The food prepared by the beloved will be another link in the relationship. The cosiness that a woman creates cannot be bought for any money, and the restaurant serving dishes cannot replace the food prepared with love for her beloved husband.
10. A wife must love
Love is not only hugging, cooking and creating a cozy family nest. Intimate life in families is no less important, and it is important for men to feel this. The relationship between a man and a woman includes all the points, so the constant headaches of the spouse and the rejection of intimate relationships will lead to depressing consequences.
To our question: “What should a woman be like to marry her?” the most desirable, beautiful and smart bachelors agreed to answer, who, by the way, shared their contacts. If you have found a handsome man and agree with his opinion about what a wife should be, then feel free to write to him by mail. Who knows, maybe it will be for you that very stone wall behind which you can hide?
Opinions of men about the ideal wife
Anton Zhulkov, 27
“It is very important for me that I feel comfortable and cozy with a woman. In addition, mutual trust in a relationship plays a huge role. Of course, care, attention and housekeeping can be added to this, because She is my best friend, my adviser and my mentor. I think these are the determining factors that will make me think about the future together. With my beloved, I want to remain the way I am - without masks and reincarnations. And appearance is a completely different matter, here you can’t “pick up” a companion for yourself, because everything depends on my attitude towards her.
Denis Plotnikov, 26
Popular
“The biggest revelation in a man's life is the realization that a woman is not a trophy to be wrested from others. A woman is an independent and self-sufficient nature. Therefore, it is very important for me to sincerely enjoy the company of my chosen one. In my opinion, in a union, a woman should always walk next to a man, and never behind or in front of him. Although, of course, there are cases when a woman should still take a step back in order to allow her man to solve problems on his own. There are never contradictions in love - love is either there or it is not.
Vladimir Logvin, 29
What should be the ideal wife? I will marry with closed eyes the one who will share the following statement: a woman is a support in a man’s life, accepting his life values. For me, this is, first of all, a beautiful and self-sufficient woman who is ready to take care, love and respect. Without a doubt, excellent sex and delicious food play an important role - well, how could it be otherwise. I want to see a woman around me who has a favorite thing, a hobby, who knows how to correctly allocate her time and money. And in the future, a good mother of our children. I think that such a woman does not indulge in despondency, because there are so many pleasures and joys in life. Yes, you can do anything for her!”
Alexander Popchenko, 29
“I think it's very simple. A woman should be beautiful in face, sexy in figure, smart, kind, gentle and understanding. But I have never come across a combination of such qualities. ”
Valery Zolotukhin, 28
" Not ideal men and women, but a couple can be close if the cockroaches in the heads of lovers match by 70-80%. As for the personal qualities of the future wife, I most of all appreciate fidelity and the ability to create such an atmosphere at home that I would like to return there. And I believe that the compatibility of people is not some kind of fiction. Therefore, if some kind of creative crisis occurs in a relationship, but the couple retains their desire and gives each other sexual pleasure, then all is not lost. In addition, there is an important point that lovers often forget about. It happens that passions subside, so it is better to be prepared for anything. For example, I will definitely sign a contract - as a kind of written confirmation of the agreements “on the shore”.
Timur Tuzhibaev, 34
What should a wife be like? I can roll out a whole wish list on a couple of sheets, but if someone hooks me emotionally, all these “wishes” will go to hell! The most important thing I appreciate in a woman is her readiness for patriarchy. I'm not only talking about the fact that the man is in charge, I'm talking about responsibility. Everything rests on the shoulders of the man. Of course, I want to see an attractive girl around me who takes care of her appearance and health. BUT female wisdom- this is a bomb! No, I don't want to use the words "mind" or "intelligence", because it's about something completely different - about the ability of a woman to motivate her man to hunt "mammoths". For the sake of this, one wants to live and throw the skins of the best animals at her feet.
Artur Nigmatyanov, 26
“For me, the ideal woman is this desired woman. So much so that a man is ready to run to her at any time of the day or night. A woman in whom you do not notice flaws, with whom you do not look around, from whom you want to have children.
Pavel Pestov, 24
“For me, mental support, attention and confidence that they believe in me are very important. It is faith and sincere love that can make a tiger out of every man who will fight for family happiness. My ideal wife is a woman who has her own hobbies and interests. She wants to spend time and chat with her. As Nietzsche said, and I agree with him: “A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.”
Andrey Vesnin, 23
“In fact, I have always been against the stamp in the passport. But I will marry the woman in whom I see the mother of my future children! Unfortunately, I noticed that nowadays girls are moody, flighty and care more about themselves and their well-being. But if she is self-sufficient and strong in spirit, then she is unlikely to be susceptible to any nonsense, and will remain true to life values.
