How to overcome monotony and addiction in a relationship? How to restart relationships and enjoy life? How to be happy in your family?
Every couple sooner or later faces the problem of fading relationships. First of all, we are talking about relationships with 5-10 years of experience. Year after year, everything becomes familiar, boring and mundane. People change themselves and their perception of each other changes. After some time, they discover that their partner is far from perfect, as it seemed at first.
Watching the same person next to you every day, you experience addiction, and then cooling. Another reason for cooling is monotony. Everything goes in a circle - the same route, the same faces, the same phrases. How to overcome the monotony, addiction, madness, a bunch of scandals out of the blue, really physical cooling? The only way is to click on "Start" and reload the relationship. If the couple wants to move forward together, use joint actions and some techniques to improve the relationship.
Do more together
Joint preparation of a family dinner helps to improve relationships. The general process of "cooking" acts magically on the couple's relationship: it brings them closer, helps to feel each other better, and makes it possible to show their love. Try spending a weekend evening in the kitchen, chatting with your husband, listening to your favorite music, and cooking delicious meals together. Both of you will feel happier!
Add variety to your leisure time
Go to something new together—a dance club, a parenting class, or self-defense training. Girls can learn the art of makeup or be trained by a stylist. A stylist is a separate topic that will help a woman become new and charming. Mastering new courses every year, you can fill your life with new interests and hobbies.
Practice a weekend getaway
Enter short trips on weekends - to a neighboring city or in your own neighborhood. Active rest will provide new impressions, and the resulting buzz will allow you to really relax. Changing the picture will contribute to the emergence of a fresh look at familiar things and familiar relationships.
Get fit and more
Occupation in the gym with any sport loads the body and frees the head. You get pleasure and order in your head. If you do not have enough time for classes in the gym, study at home. Download the video with Dr. Hasai Aliyev's "Key" method for dealing with stress. 5 simple exercises in 5 minutes will effectively bring you back to normal and free your head well.
interrupt the smell
Sometimes it's good to get to know another man just to realize that other men exist too. And most importantly - to understand that the spouse is still much better than someone from the outside. You can accept a non-binding invitation to have a cup of coffee in a cafe. At the moment of the meeting, you will subconsciously smell the person. And you will understand that the smell of a loved one is better and more pleasant.
Leave for a while
You can stay late at work once a week or go to the same sewing and knitting courses. You can visit your parents for the weekend. You need to leave for a while to change the picture before your eyes. And to feel that you are already bored, that you are not comfortable alone, that you are simply drawn home.
Eat out
In any city there are many different restaurants, eateries, cafes that open, improve, grow - in general, somehow this sector is developing. Why don't you try different cuisines together, go to different restaurants, choose them according to reviews, consult with someone? In a small town, it might just be visiting. Again, you don’t need to change the picture and wash the dishes!
Each couple goes through their own unique experiences and finds their own ways to reset the relationship. When living together has become a habit and has lost its sharp taste, it is worth thinking about a new meaning and experience that will re-open you to each other.
How to turn the end of a relationship into a new stage?
I am personally against comebacks. I never had the desire to return to anyone. I usually leave on that note when the relationship has completely exhausted itself and “there is nothing else to do here”. But some happy ending stories of my acquaintances got me interested in how and why it sometimes works.
And here is the result of my observations and research.
So, how to turn the end of a relationship into a new stage.
First, no way. Practice has shown that only when people (at least one of the partners) parted forever, without thinking about returning, after a while (long!), There is a chance to try again. When you know you've paused, your brain doesn't allow you to completely reset. Parting is a small death. Yes, the old must die - habits, claims, resentments. Otherwise, this heap will be a heavy burden on your mind every time you think about returning. “Schmumer died, if only he was healthy,” as they say in my beloved Odessa.
Following. Time. It heals and wipes out these same grievances-habits from memory, polishes the scars from past wounds inflicted by relationships. Therefore, it must be long lasting. From the practice of friends - at least six months. It takes three months to update the information in the cell. scientific fact. And if we are talking about remnants of resentment and mental trauma, then psychologists say that recovery takes from six months to two years. FROM! half a year.
Thirdly. Awareness of their mistakes and role in breaking up relationships. Not “the fool himself”, but a real understanding of what my actions, character traits hurt a partner, were wrong in general or in these respects. Why do I focus on “given” relationships. Because this particular partner may not suit you, and “what is good for a Russian is death for a German”. This particular partner and his behavior-psychology may not suit you. And the question is not in the wrong behavior then, but in the mismatch. Then there is nothing to talk about - not yours, forget it.
If you understand through time that it was with this person that you felt good, sincere, warm and comfortable, it makes sense to analyze what led to the breakup, and what was the reason for this in your behavior. Can you change something in yourself? Wouldn't such a restructuring be a loss of oneself? This process of rethinking is time-consuming and energy-intensive. But development and growth will always benefit you, no matter if you get your ex back as a result.
Farther. In my opinion, important point are other relationships. For contrast, to compare their behavior in previous and new relationships, to reflect their feelings and feelings. A person is arranged in such a way that it is difficult for him to realize a partner otherwise than “everything is known in comparison”. The main thing here is that the factor that “each next one is worse than the previous one” does not play. This is already an indicator that you as a person are not developing, but regressing. And not that the former / former were better. It is not the partner that should win in comparison, but your feelings and the nature of the previous relationship. You should qualitatively lack that warmth and comfort. Then maybe that person was yours. Or not. Life will show. But you need to try.
And the last. Relations with the former should be qualitatively new. From scratch. Without mentioning past grievances, “you don’t change.” No, no, no one is holding back. Maybe yes?)
Love to you and ease of being. Regardless of who ;-)
Even ideal relationship you need to periodically “warm up” with interesting events and impressions. If apathy and fatigue have appeared in a relationship, steps must be taken to “reboot” the relationship
If your romantic relationship"eats" the routine, you need to take important steps to save the old feelings. Strong and reliable relationships are work that needs to be constantly done in order to maintain harmony in the family. To avoid apathy and routine, you need to bring fresh colors to the relationship, that is, “reboot” them.
Nothing brings people together like a shared passion. But it should be fun for both. And not very tedious either. For example, after work it is much more difficult to do business that requires a certain physical activity. Here it is important to choose something relaxing and exciting. For example, you can watch movie premieres once a week in the evenings. Fortunately, they are produced in large numbers. You shouldn't have any problems choosing a movie. Access to the Internet solves many problems, before it was necessary to look for a disk from the seller, ask for recommendations on a particular film.
Now you can watch almost any movie online for free and in good quality, watch a preview trailer or read the description. It is important not to overdo it here. No need to watch many films at once. It is very important to watch one film and then discuss it with your loved one. Thus, you will learn in more detail about the preferences of the spouse, see how he reacts to this or that situation.
It is important to restrain your selfishness. If you do not understand your partner, this does not mean that he is wrong. Try to be more tolerant of your loved one, enter into his position. Even petty quarrels that arise with enviable frequency can shake relationships. Your task is to "reboot" the relationship, to make it brighter.
Look at the everyday situation in a new way. The fact is that a person ceases to pay attention to frequently repeated situations, even if they contain a share of negativity. Think about what you need to change in your relationship. For example, you call your beloved "shpuntik". At first he protested against such a nickname, and then reconciled. In a relationship, both partners should be comfortable, so you need to correct this misunderstanding, even if your loved one is already used to this nickname.
Why don't you take a little mini vacation, at least once a month? For example, it could be the first or second Saturday of every month. Usually by this time they already give wages and allocate money for a small picnic is quite realistic. The main thing is to spend time together without fuss and household chores. You can be alone, talk, relax, recharge your batteries before a difficult work week.
Do nice little things for each other. It can be a note left in a conspicuous place. For example, you can purchase bright stickers that stick to different surfaces. You can write anything, as long as it was pleasant for both. All sorts of tenderness, emoticons, words of love and gratitude will do.
If you have a similar musical taste, turn on music with some cheerful composition in one of the sad evenings. For example, you two came home from work and instead of relaxing, you need to do cooking, washing dishes, cleaning. Try to lighten the mood with your favorite song. You will see, doing household chores will be much more fun.
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A serious-minded man who dreams of a friendly family and children, isn't this the dream of every representative of the weaker sex?
The relationship of a woman with her beloved husband is not a lake, but a dynamic river: it can be calm, fast, and aggressive. But with a long stagnation and love that has become a habit, any woman wonders how to refresh her relationship with her husband. Agree, because your knees are trembling when you remember your first dates and so you want to feel yourself as loved again as then. We need a reboot of love.
Why Romance Leaves
Everything seems to be clear: over time, the family turns into a kind of enterprise, where one day copies the previous one cleanly: life, work, problems with children, etc. and there is simply no place for the romance with which the relationship began. But not everything is so simple, because there are deeper reasons:
- Obsession with household rules. It's good that you care about the order in your home, but if your spouse has a habit of leaving the dishes on the table after dinner, is this critical? Is this really supposed to ruin the relationship?
- The thought "Where is he going to get away from me." Most often men think this way, but it is typical for women as well. Maybe you won’t get away from each other, but the relationship will turn into cohabitation of two different universes, and over time, a new passion and love can take over your husband;
- Life without trust. Petty deceptions, betrayal, hiding the truth... all this destroys trust, and with it, love.
So, married life is a very serious job. Moreover, your love is worth it to carry out this work. In order for the relationship not to be refreshed, you first need to see in your man a person with a great inner world and life problems. In addition, you need to be able to hear and understand each other. Say everything that does not suit you, and let your husband do it. Silence kills a marriage more actively than scandals and quarrels, so don't be silent if something is wrong. In addition, in marriage, many people like to flaunt their shortcomings: they say love is evil, so love me for who I am. But this is not so. For a beloved spouse, you always need to be the best, and this applies to both partners.
If the relationship has finally turned into a routine, it's time to shake it up. What are we going to do. Here are some options.
Just change your image
Appear before your husband in an unexpected way. This is trite, but it works, because a man is a collector, and even if the marriage is happy, he is still interested in other women. So be a different woman. Now he has a new wife. A new image can be supplemented with an unusual action. For example, appear in the form of an oriental beauty and dance a belly dance for him.
romantic dinner
Also from simple ways, but it works, because men love to eat. Here it is not even necessary to cook delicacies (a man will not understand) or set the table with candles. No, this is also a good option. But you can come up with something more original, for example, a romantic dinner on the highest roof of the city. Or you can make a familiar dish and put a surprise inside. For example, bake a note with a declaration of love in a pie. Or bake as many pies as your life together lasts and put a note in each with a question about each year you have lived. In general, bring maximum romance into the life of your family.
Scandal
Some non-conflict wives prefer not to make scandals or even silently swallow everything that they don’t like, inventing compromises for themselves. But this is fundamentally wrong.
The “correct” scandal will bring a positive charge to the relationship. But the claims should be frivolous, so as not to cause real anger in each other and not provoke a serious quarrel with her husband. Dissatisfaction can be caused by an uncleaned table after dinner, a spouse snoring at night, or other little things. You can even break a plate (just choose the one that is cheaper and that you don’t feel sorry for). You can even cry. Having found out the relationship, you will fall into each other's arms and end the conflict with passionate sex.
Romantic letter to a loved one
The epistolary genre is in crisis today, but you shouldn't worry about that. Just put a note in your pocket with a declaration of love.
Or you can write a love letter from an unknown mailbox. Let it be passionate and tender, but such that it is difficult to guess who it is from. It will lead. And in the middle of the letter, you can describe those details of the relationship that are known only to you. A declaration of love from a wife with whom you have lived together for so many years? It turns on!
Important! Such surprises should be done regularly, otherwise the husband may unreasonably suspect you of something bad, or simply be puzzled.
More Ways to Refresh Relationships
You can come up with other surprises. For example, send him an original gift to work, preferably inexpensive and cool. But in the case of a husband devoid of a sense of humor, this is not entirely appropriate. Just like if you're jealous.
There are many other ways to reset a relationship. For example, a date with your husband in the same cafe where your relationship began, walking around the places where your romance began. If this cafe is no longer there, then the dress in which the husband saw you on the first date must have remained.
If returning to the past is not very interesting, then you can come up with a new hobby for both. But so that it was really interesting for both halves.
They will help to reboot family relationships and psychological trainings. Do not miss the opportunity to reveal your loved one again, and after all, trainings contribute to this.
You can also make a photo collage from your photos with your husband. It is advisable to take photos in secret. Using a simple computer program, mount a video from them.
Well, don't forget about the bedding. Being new and different about sex will help freshen up any relationship, so games in bed, new places to make love, and an unusual new position will do. Something, and making a bed not boring is quite simple.
After the birth of a child
For all families, a crisis after the birth of a child is the norm. It is almost impossible to be a mother and wife at the same time, especially if the child is a newborn. How to reset a relationship after having a baby? First of all, it is necessary to find time for each other. It’s good if there is a grandmother to whom you can give the baby for a while and just have dinner together or even go somewhere together. Do not forget to always be interested in how your spouse's day went and what's new happened today. He shouldn't feel left out. As far as possible, try to be beautiful at home with your baby and buy a beautiful home kit. To reset your relationship with your soul mate, don't be afraid to ask him to help with the baby. This will bring you closer after his appearance, and there will definitely not be a routine - the baby will definitely not allow it to enter your life.
And if the children have grown up, they will also help you refresh the relationship. They, too, can remind parents that there is love between them. Children can (with the help of their mother) cook their father's favorite dish or write poems about their father and mother. There are many options here too.
You need to reload and refresh your relationship with your husband regularly. This is also a job and one of the keys to family happiness. If you want to be loved all the time, learn to constantly be different and new.
