How to learn to express your feelings. How to Express Your Feelings to the One You Love

Tatiana Ezhova

Expert in the field of personnel management, coach.

1. Master the anchoring technique

This technique comes from Neuro-Linguistic Programming, but it has taken root in the acting world because it easily helps you get into the right emotional state. Its essence is the performance of certain ritual actions.

Recall a time in the past when you experienced a certain emotion. Close your eyes, immerse yourself in the memory and find the necessary feeling within yourself. When the emotion is strong enough, do something: cross your fingers or stomp.

To consolidate the effect, this exercise must be done several times. Now you can easily enter the emotional state you need when you need it.

2. Think about the interlocutor

This is necessary in order to better feel it, to understand how it breathes. By reading the emotional state of the other, assuming how he feels, you will understand what you are close to. And this inner closeness with the other will allow you to better define your emotions.

3. Interact

Express emotions by involving your surroundings in the process. Do not be afraid to be bright, noticeable, sparkle with colors. Yours come to life in the process of interacting with what surrounds you.

4. Develop body flexibility

Postures, gait, facial expressions, gestures - all this matters and should correspond to the emotions that you show. And it's not just about those cases when we lack words or words are not needed. The body is the first to react to what we feel, and responds with a look, with any movement.

Try to say something without words, using only your body. This may be the most common story about how you got to work today. Do counterparts understand your body movements? Do you feel a bunch of eyes, lips, posture? Where are your hands? What are you talking about with your feet?

5. Experiment with a palette of emotions

The basic emotions highlighted by Paul Ekman are joy, surprise, sadness, anger, disgust, fear, contempt. Go beyond them: Express shock, boredom, aggression, awe, forgiveness, envy, sympathy, hope, enthusiasm, relief, tenderness, and so on.

Try to list 10 varieties of each basic emotion. Have fun distinguishing shades

6. Observe others

Watch others tell stories, deliver bad news, speak to an audience. Try to guess what emotions they experience at the same time, what their gestures and facial expressions say.

Observing others will increase your emotional competence exponentially. And watching a video where you are in the lead role will allow you to catch what is missing for you.

7. Select a text from a book and retell it to different people

These should be people from your environment: mom, friend, colleague. Tell it as if the story really happened to you. It is important that your interlocutors do not guess that this is an excerpt from a book.

For more immersion, you can change the names of the characters to the names of your friends. You can complete the story. If you suddenly remember with surprise that there is also a real author, then you are on the right track.

8. Use counterpoint - juxtaposition of sound and image

When you tell something funny about something sad or, conversely, sad about something funny, you begin to feel more subtle, your inner emotional ear becomes more receptive. Use the classics of dramaturgy: look for evil in good, and in evil - good. Try to tell an ordinary story with emotions that are opposite or far from the meaning of the text.

9. Listen to music. Especially without words

Music helps to develop imaginative thinking and find meanings that cannot be expressed in words. Music interacts with emotions directly without affecting our mind.

It is useful not only to listen to music, but also to play it. If you don't know how to play any musical instrument, sing along! Sing boldly and with inspiration, you can do it without words, giving yourself completely to this activity, as if there is no other way to convey the meaning, except to sing.

10. Breathe properly

Breathing is closely related to how we feel. With the help of certain breathing exercises you can evoke some kind of emotion. today a large number, but the basis of any is inhalation and exhalation.

It is possible to achieve a peaceful state through slow deep breaths and exhalations. And with the help of rapid or, on the contrary, bated breath, you can enter the expressive-emotional state you need.

Of course, this does not exhaust the techniques for managing emotions. Try, train, look for what is right for you, and most importantly - enjoy the conscious manifestation of your multifaceted personality!

When you are in a relationship with the person who has won your heart, sometimes there is a burning desire to tell your significant other about your feelings. But if you're in love with someone you don't know as well, then self-expression can be a little more difficult. Confessing your feelings may seem awkward at first, but there are many other options besides just saying "I love you." Planes dragging canvases with hearts behind them will, of course, be overkill, but simpler means can even contain a lot more sense.

Steps

Recognition to the person with whom you are in a relationship

Just say "I love you". This phrase is the most correct way to express your own feelings, and at the same time, it shows the strength of these feelings. However, there are many ways to declare love in other words. For example, instead of saying “I love you,” you can use words that have a similar meaning: “I’m so lucky to have you,” or “I love it when you…” or “I adore you because…”

• These diverse sayings will help express why you love your partner and inspire new life in these three words.

1. Tell the person how important they are to you. Tell your partner about the positive contributions they have made to your life. This is a wonderful way to show how much you love and appreciate him. For example, if your partner creates a carefree atmosphere when spending time with family, tell him that these meetings are so easy thanks to him. If you've had a bad day at work and you feel a wave of relief when you meet your loved one, tell them that your mood immediately changes for the better as soon as you see them.

   • If the person you love is making your life better or easier by influencing or diversifying it in some way, let him or her know that he or she is wanted, appreciated, and loved.

2. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Vulnerability in this case means the ability to express your thoughts and feelings absolutely sincerely. Along with this, you may run the risk of criticism, rejection, or your loved one may hurt you. However, it is important to remember that sincere love for a partner opens your heart to him, saying that opening your “I” to him seems worthy of even the risk of being offended. After all, it is you who sacrifice personal space for the sake of a deeper connection between you.

   • Since such sacrifices are not easy to make, your dedication to the relationship shows your vulnerability towards the person you love.

3. Ask your partner for advice. Asking for help shows that you value and trust the person's opinion. This means that you are very important to his instructions, which increases the importance of this person and is a step forward to a stronger relationship.

   • It doesn't have to be something major, but an important decision may well be the way to go. The main thing is to show your partner that you are interested in his opinion and approach, and in this way you will show your respect.

4. Pour your feelings out to each other. If your partner is visibly upset, preoccupied, angry, or anxious, ask them to open up to you and pour out their feelings. Sometimes people just need to express their concerns to someone. Let your partner know that you are ready to listen to whatever he has to say.

   • So you show that you are ready to become a listener and joy for your loved one.
   • Put your phone aside while you get emotional. Listen to the words, observe the person's feelings, and answer thoughtfully.
   • If you have nothing to say, a strong hug will show your loved one that you are always there for him.

5. Tell each other secrets. Shared secrets are a little way to tell your loved one that you trust them. People do not share secrets with just anyone, so trusting someone with your innermost feelings and thoughts is a sure sign of caring and love in a relationship.

   • When you are secretive with each other, then your connection becomes even closer.

6. Always be honest. Sometimes it's hard to be honest with the person you love, especially when trying to protect their feelings. Very often, the truth increases the ability to get closer to a partner, even if it can offend someone. It shows that you rather be truthful and real, rather than phony and comforting.

   • When you are honest with your partner about your feelings, even knowing that this will not bring him peace, it is still a sign of respect for the person.
   • Just remember to be gentle when speaking the truth. She, of course, can be cruel, but should not sound vicious.

7. Cheer up your partner. It's safe to say that it's your responsibility to your significant other - just like the highest interest in a relationship - to show your love, encourage and help your partner achieve their dreams and goals in life. By providing support, you encourage your partner to be best version himself and strive for what he wants.

   • You can cheer your partner up with phrases such as “I believe you can do it,” “You are great at what you do,” or “Your hard work will soon pay off.”
   • Words of support and advocacy for the success of a partner express your love and support.

8. Write a letter. Sometimes an old-fashioned love letter is a very romantic way of expressing your feelings. Writing such a letter can also help you express your feelings and emotions, as your stream of consciousness speaks for you. Consider how you would write this letter. What would you like to say to your loved one? Start the letter with the reasons why you are writing it. For example, start it with the words "I've been thinking about how I missed you ..." or "I wanted to tell you today how much I love you, but I never had the opportunity to ...".

   • Give examples from your experience or memories to remind you of bright, tender feelings. Be sure to write about what exactly you love about your partner, or how you feel around him or why you are happy to be around.
   • Writing a letter is The best way show that your words are filled with meaning, because it requires more effort than typing it. In addition, your personal handwriting betrays the sincerity of the letter.

9. Listen. Too often we underestimate the power of a thoughtful question from an attentive listener. When you really listen to someone, you are completely focused on the person, giving them 100% of your attention.

   • Although it is a fairly simple activity, listening is a very powerful act of caring, which demonstrates your willingness to help and be always there for your partner, no matter what situation they find themselves in.
   • Listening enhances the feeling that together you are both a solid team, and you are always ready to help your partner at his first call.

10. Help with the little things. Anything you can do to lessen the burden of responsibility on your loved one's shoulders speaks volumes about how much you care and love that person.

    • Even little things like running out quickly to buy breakfast while your loved one is still sleeping, or filling up the car or washing the dishes are a sure way to show a person that you are thinking about him.

11. Be tactful. Being considerate means that you have to think about your partner's feelings in everything you do. You must also make any decisions with your partner's best interests in mind.

    • For example, if you're camping, grab a few extra mattresses for your sweetheart or loved one if you think he'll be uncomfortable sleeping on a hard surface. Or, if you're going on a picnic, prepare more of your partner's favorite treats as a surprise.

12. Leave some time to have a good time with your loved one or loved one. Everyday worries overwhelm us, but it's worth making the effort to have a good time with your loved one, as it's a great way to reconnect with them and share your thoughts and ideas. Spend your free time with each other, go for a walk or have dinner together.

    • What really matters is not how much time you spend together, but how you spend it. It doesn't have to be a strict schedule, but it's the fact that you put in the effort that matters.

13. Be a child. As we grow older, our life sometimes becomes monotonous and boring. In such cases, one should awaken the child within oneself. Fill your life with surprises, be spontaneous and try new things.

    • This is not a direct indicator of love, but maintaining a positive attitude in a relationship demonstrates your efforts to make spending time together pleasant. Go through all the adventures together and they will create many fun memories and stories in the future.

14. More affectionate touches. Each person shows affection differently, but even small gentle touches express love on a physical level. Little things like holding hands, touching hands playfully, or resting your head on your partner's shoulder also speaks volumes about how you feel and how close you are.

    Hug. Hugs give people a physical sense of security and literally make people feel immersed in love. There is nothing difficult or unacceptable about hugs, which makes them the perfect way to express feelings.

    • Hug your loved one with both hands, turning to face him. Such hugs are the most romantic. Other types of hugs (with one hand or on one side) are more casual and carry less semantic meaning.
    • A good, meaningful hug lasts a little longer than usual. Five to seven seconds of hugs are usually enough to express your feelings.

15. Hug each other. It's no secret that snuggle up to a loved one is just as nice as hugging him. This short break from stress Everyday life will show your love by the fact that you are completely focused on the partner and on your feelings for him.

    Give your partner a massage. Give your partner a regular neck massage while watching a movie, or just stroke him or run your fingers through his hair. Let him lie on his back and put his head on your knees, and you massage his shoulders and neck.

    • Never be afraid to express your love through touch, because this is another way to feel it.

    How to express feelings to the subject of sighing

    1. Be confident. Just be yourself as you interact with your crush. You don't want to build a relationship on lies or pretend that you're not who you're trying to be. So let your personality shine through. Sometimes, when you have nothing to talk about, ask your lover or beloved about something in life, or just give a compliment. You can say something like, "What sport do you like to do?" or “You did a great job at the presentation!”

       • The easiest topics to talk about with a sigh are general things like studying, traveling, or favorite restaurants. Common topics for conversations will cheer you up and allow you to relax.

    2. Let your body language speak for you. Touch is a sign of closeness. So trying to overcome the barrier of touch is a very skillful way of expressing your love for the object of your sigh. Light touches are the best way to convey your message of love in a less overt way.

       • For example, if you are talking to or passing by a lover or lover, you can simply lightly touch his or her shoulder. If you are sitting nearby, you can casually touch your knee or foot to her/his knee or leg and smile, showing your feelings.
       • With just a little physical attention, your crush will know that you like him or her. Light touches during a conversation, even one or two, are a sure way to let a person know about your feelings for him.

    3. Write a letter. Sometimes it can be difficult to express feelings for a loved one in words, so a love letter is in a simple way expressions of love without having to do it in person. Still following the previous method, begin your letter with a statement about what inspired you to write it.

    4. Make writing easy. You can start the letter with some everyday phrases, and insert a few common jokes or memories of fun moments between you. Based on this, you can delve into your feelings and write about the reason for this letter, and even confess your love to your loved one. You can say something like "I just wanted to tell you that I like you and I really enjoy spending time with you."

       • Keep the letter short and sweet. It is unlikely that you want to go into the details of how much you like him / her and why exactly, before you get an answer about the reciprocity of feelings for you.

    5. Express your love in person. Choose a place away from the hustle and bustle where you can talk in private, make eye contact and just tell your loved one how you feel. You can talk about something insignificant, but after a while, get straight to the point and express your feelings. You can give a couple of compliments while you talk about how you feel for this person. For example: “I really like you. No one else can make me laugh like you do."

       • After you confess your love to a person, give him time to react and realize the information received. You don't need to immediately ask about how he feels about you or what he thinks about it.
       • It is unlikely that you want to confess everything at once. Give the person time to respond, and try not to pressure them.

Not all of us know how to correctly express our feelings, and therefore either thoughtlessly throw them out, or even hide them inside ourselves. And, by the way, both of these approaches are destructive to us.

That is why, if you do not want to become a victim of your own emotions, learn to express them correctly.

Let's try to figure out why you can't keep feelings in yourself and how to learn to express them.

Why can't you keep your feelings to yourself

We tend to hide our feelings inside ourselves. Partly due to the fact that we are embarrassed to admit them to others, partly due to the fact that we ourselves are not aware of what exactly we feel.

But, as practice shows, unexpressed feelings can cause us significant harm, and we are talking about both negative emotions and positive ones.

If we conserve within ourselves irritation, hatred or fear, they will gradually undermine our strength - both emotional and physical. Some of the typical manifestations of emotional restraint are headaches, increased blood pressure, muscle cramps, and a general weakening of the immune system.

Over time, a bad mood can gradually turn into your constant companion and, perhaps, even result in a prolonged depression.

That is why it is so important to learn how to express your feelings correctly, because only in this way they will stop controlling you, and you will be able to move on, fully solving the problems that arise in your life.

How to learn to express what you feel

If you no longer want to keep all your thoughts and experiences deep inside yourself, then it's time to learn how to express them competently. And this should be done step by step.

If you feel that a friendly conversation was not enough, then it's time to think about non-standard ways talk about your feelings. For example, through creation. Draw, write poetry, sculpt from clay, sew clothes. Let the things you create tell others about what exactly you are experiencing. this moment. Believe me, after each creative impulse you will feel like a renewed person, full of energy and strength.

As we can see, you should not hold back and hide your feelings from others. Instead, try to give them the way out that seems most constructive to you. Released outside, your emotions will no longer oppress you, but you will feel a charge of strength for new achievements.

Express your feelings and good mood to you!

Cartoon: The Power of Love

How to learn to express your emotions and feelings It is useful to understand not only girls, but also guys. After all, if you master your inner world, it will be easier for you to find a common language with the people around you. Controlling your emotions will bring positive results: a healthy nervous system and bright smiles of family members, colleagues and friends.

Learning to express your emotions and feelings is difficult, but if you do not understand yourself, it will be twice as difficult for others. We have prepared for you some tips that will help you get to know yourself from the inside and help in solving your problems.

Part 1 of 2: How to Identify Your Emotions

1. Learn to accept your feelings

First you need to accept your feelings and analyze them. You must feel the emotions that have arisen in a particular situation. After some practice, you will be able to answer 3 key questions:

What does feeling mean?
- How does the feeling react to the situation?
Why is this feeling happening right now?

2. Learn to identify your feelings

Absolutely all people feel everything differently. The expression of emotions, such as happiness, anger, sadness, admiration, regret, occurs in its own way. Some begin to cry both from happiness and from grief, others, on the contrary, in any situation with a stone face. A stone face does not mean a stone heart. Therefore, in order to learn how to express your emotions and feelings, training is needed. It is best to study feelings in those moments when you are relaxing in terms of emotions.

There are two tips for learn to express your emotions and feelings:

You will need a sheet of paper and a pen. Write in a column of all the emotions that you have ever experienced on yourself. Then, next to each emotion, write the state that you felt during the emotion in question. Remember your facial expressions, inner feelings, your thoughts and feelings. All of this can help you recognize the emotion when you experience it again.

It is necessary to learn how to manage different feelings and try to direct them to the original state. After all, it is very harmful, it will not let you enjoy the beautiful life of the world around you.

3. Learn to listen to your body

Emotions are generally controlled by the autonomic nervous system and the limbic part of the brain. If you experience a feeling - suffering, your body responds to this: increased heart rate, tremors and sweating, increased breathing rate. Need be able to express your emotions correctly, because there are side effects body reactions:

It is very important for your physical and mental health that you are able to express your feelings in a useful way. Expressing emotions is much more useful than holding them back.

If you don't learn how to express your feelings, this can lead to tension in the muscle groups of the body, such as the face, neck, upper back, and hips.

It is almost impossible to survive excessive emotionality without causing stress. Stress brings with it problems such as an accelerated heart rate, an agitated nervous system, and high blood pressure.

Restraint of feelings leads to illness of the psychosomatic part: ulcers, asthma, headache, heart problems and blood pressure.

These serious consequences confirm the connection between emotions and the human body. If you can learn to express your emotions and feelings, then you will avoid minimizing potential harmful effects on your body.

4. Learn to understand the emotional reaction

The expression “the problem is not in the situation, but in my attitude towards it” must be repeated to yourself every time a problem arises. Thoughts are material, therefore, what you think about is what happens to you. The situation can be solved by the power of emotions. For example, two friends for the exam received the same number of points - 80. But one friend is very happy, there is no chapel for happiness, as she hardly understands this subject. The second is upset and upset because she is sure that she knows the subject by more than 80 points. People react completely differently to the same situations, because of their attitude to what is happening.

You need to learn how to determine the strength of an emotional reaction. After all, if from the example above, a friend throws a tantrum at a low score, then this will be a disproportionate reaction to an ongoing event. Disproportionate reactions are usually driven by stress and fear.

You may experience several types of emotions at the same time. For example, when receiving 80 points, the girl is very happy. But before taking the exam, she experienced frustrations, difficulties and fear that left consequences in her nervous system. Consequently, the girl received two types of emotions at the same time - joy and anxiety.

Part 2 of 2: Appropriate imagery to express emotions

1. Experiment

It is important to learn how to express your emotions and feelings, understand your body, what it is trying to say, and anticipate the reaction to certain circumstances. Choose a quiet time to study the way of thinking and identifying feelings in order to better understand yourself. Let's put the experiment into practice:

Relaxation of the muscles of the body in a calm environment. 5 minutes of meditation or gentle exercise will help you relax.

Answer the question " What do I feel now?". Identify the part of the body experiencing emotional stress: anger, fear, sadness, disappointment, etc.

Do not take active actions, become an observer of emotional sensations. Listen to how you express your feelings.

Analyze the feelings received and express specific forms by answering the questions: “ Where is this feeling located in the body?» « What is the shape and texture of this feeling?"Does this feeling have color?"

2. Consider your options

You need to make a choice how it is more convenient for you to express your emotions. No one can make this choice for you, because you know yourself much better than those around you. There is no right way to express emotional feelings, there are both beneficial and negative ways.

Consider the situation that your friend is moving to another city. There are at least two possible responses to this situation. Firstly, you can see each other as often as possible, communicate, enjoy communication. In this way, you will be able to compensate for feelings of fear of losing a friend by excessive communication. The second option is the opposite of the first. You deliberately quarrel with a friend so as not to torment yourself with his imminent departure. This option will help you and anxiety, survive with the help of anger and anger. What to choose for you, only you know.

As a rule, there is not much choice. The second option shows your inability to cope with feelings, the first means the struggle of misfortune with the pleasure of the time spent.

3. Learn to put your feelings into words

To judge a situation, we often resort to the use of emotions. In order to perform an analysis of the feelings that are taking over you, you can: find a person who is included in the circle of trust, keep a personal diary or start writing poetry. You can also have a sincere conversation with a person who causes: rage, experience, delight, etc.

Use the list of emotions that was written earlier to understand the feelings in the moment. Difficulties may arise in the formulation of their emotions, the list will help to understand the situation.

If during a conversation you were verbally hurt, angered or hurt, do not rush to express your emotions. Think and decide for yourself what is better in the current situation, “I feel ...” or “Because of someone, I feel ...”. The answer is obvious, no one can make you feel something, it is subject only to you. Having made certain conclusions about the interlocutors, you have the right to stop communication or continue it further.

If a person once offended you, upset you, announced an unpleasant statement in your direction, this is not a reason to stop further communication. You can play with your emotions by texting this person. Write him an SMS, e-mail or a letter, explaining the reason for your resentment and discontent. Expressing your emotions in the form of typing will help you think about the future situation, calm down and make the right decision.

4. Learn to physically express your emotions

As we have already found out, the state of the human body directly depends on emotional stress. Not even big physical exercise able to defuse the body, help and stress.

Listening to musical compositions is capable of combating sadness, sadness and longing. Watching a movie, reading books also help in the fight against negative emotions, cause feelings of satisfaction and joy.

In order not to know for yourself what stress is, you need to deal with such a feeling as anger and in no case avoid it. In the fight against anger, strength physical exercises can help: lifting dumbbells, a punching bag, or squats. The more strength we spend on the exercise, the more we get rid of negative emotions.

Tips and Warnings:

The difficulty of mastering feelings may require additional rest from them. It is not necessary to ignore their presence, but it is worth putting everything in its place after a pause, as you will be ready for this.

Using negative associations when thinking about yourself is not acceptable. Communicate with your inner self and explore your world.

The emotional response to a certain situation depends only on you. No one can predict your reaction except yourself.

It takes practice and time to understand yourself, learn to identify and express your emotions and feelings.

Don't try to analyze feelings using alcohol, self-harm, recklessness, or drugs. If you have problems, seek professional help to help you understand how to learn to express your emotions and feelings.